How to get a divorce
Divorce isn't easy, seem to be, this is one of the worst moments in life. When the union is in question, a dilemma appears - everything may depend on your intentions. “I think for a long time, that you need to get a divorce and put an end to the so-called "marriage". How to make sure it's true?! Sometimes I think, what time is it, and next day, what to wait. What will the neighbors say, friends, relatives?... "Or you are faced with a fact. "But why? We were planning a trip next week! Is it all that bad?!».
Most families starting divorce proceedings are not really ready and completely unsure of their intentions.. Desire in this case plays a decisive role., influencing subsequent years, maybe all my life. Many do not think about preparation, because they think, the sooner the stressful situation ends, the better. There is a natural tendency - in a difficult marriage, couple wants to speed things up, to start life anew. Family and friends only support the choice, believing in the myth of quickly gaining freedom and returning to normal existence. It hurts them to look at the suffering of loved ones. In the overwhelming majority of cases, this intention does not work..
By making runaways, rash conclusions husband and wife run away from marriage, not considering your feelings, not thinking about the future, not finding a way out of problems, arising during the trial. Further agree to inappropriate offers, in return, getting a situation even worse than the previous one. find out: how to behave after husband's infidelity.
At the initial stage, when you just thought to change your destiny, ask the following questions.
Do you still have feelings for your husband / wife? Wanting to end the relationship, many continue to love their partner, but struggle and lack of emotional and bodily intimacy, only worsen the situation. If you decide to break up, be sure to work on the relationship, otherwise the feeling of loss will consume you and only get worse.
Have you ever had a marriage?! Real relationships should be built on "us" and "us". Many can live together, raise kids, but continue to put your opinion and "I" above all else. Otherwise, you have only two choices, either to study and develop an alliance, where is "we", or do intentionally, recognizing, that he did not exist at all.
Is it a threat or a real desire?! Often, in quarrels, angry people shout the threat of divorce for various reasons.:
despair and anger take over,
to finally gain power and control over man,
add seriousness to intentions to change being,
Your purpose of getting it?! Any intentions (given the secret), except to end the relationship, indicate unwillingness to leave. Hoping, that the person will change during the process and begin to behave better, treat you appropriately, then you seek divorce in vain. He is not able to change the minds and souls of people., also how to fix errors. The only way to end your family, giving everyone the opportunity to build a new reality.
If you have answered them and still strive for change, then you should prepare. There is no universal advice on how to get a divorce.. But there are many expert recommendations, how can you smooth the process. When did you decide to divorce, there are problems that did not bother before: how to deal with money, arrange life, what will happen to the children, how will they survive and with whom will they stay?!
Полюбовный подход – выход для пары
Если вы в восторге от тяжб и жаждете продлить их как можно дольше – пожалуйста, quarrel over every little thing. But if your task is to go through them peacefully, learn to prioritize. Take the time to figure out what is most meaningful to you - what you are striving for., need, what is non-negotiable - before discussing it with your spouse.
The key to a quick and civilized divorce is making decisions by mutual agreement.. The more questions you can handle yourself, all the better. Having agreed on, how to divide property and savings, who will the children be with, how your parenting rights will be exercised, you retain control of your own life, without resorting to extremes - leaving issues to the court. find out: how to refuse a man politely.
certainly, divorce on a friendly basis is not always possible. Of course, anger and anxiety are part and parcel of the case.. However, if you identify important tasks and work on a mutually beneficial solution, then the process will become less painful.
Избегайте взаимных обвинений
Всегда есть две стороны в медали, which are difficult to notice in a seething and emotionally tense environment. It is worth taking responsibility for what happened to both, when spouses admit mistakes, then a number of fewer grievances, insults and more open, honest interaction.
Думайте о завтрашнем дне
Вам следует сосредоточиться на том, how will it be tomorrow. Solutions, adopted today will have an impact on you and your child for years to come. So don't get hung up on small things., fighting for their own rightness or the structure of the sentence. There are no winners here, however, focusing on the important - your children and the future, instead of the past - you will get the result, which will satisfy not only you, but also a husband / wife.
I would also like to bring up a list of the main mistakes made by couples during litigation..
Неточности в приведенной информации о финансовых доходах
В независимости от нашего желания, money plays a significant role in the divorce process. Important, that both spouses provide accurate and truthful information about the financial condition at the time of the divorce, informed about the presence of debts and loans, as well as the real state of income. Then it will be easier to divide the total acquired capital, plan further own budgets, foresee costs.
Позволять эмоциям брать верх
Признайтесь, this is a real roller coaster, you can feel the full range of emotions - from anger and resentment to sadness and pity. Try to contain your feelings in negotiations., to achieve a mutually beneficial outcome. Everyone needs to get a proper negotiation outcome. This also includes stubbornness.. Some partners close in themselves, not allowing options for solving the problem, apart from his. If you want to reach an agreement, it is necessary that it fits both. You have to compromise, then the dispute will not be prolonged.
Забыть о ребенке
Расторжение брака дело всегда сложное, and if you add a baby, it gets even harder, pulling along new circumstances and problems that need to be solved. Children also experience everything, and harder. They feel lonely, anxiety, anger, may feel guilty for what happened. The smallest can think, that you will be together again, даже после длительной разлуки. Часто дети пытаются защитить родителей, не рассказывая, что действительно чувствуют, или говоря каждому из родителей другое в зависимости от того что по их мнению ожидают отец/мать. Поэтому не стоит недооценивать вопрос детей.
Сосредоточившись на прошлом
Вы не можете двигаться вперед застряв в прошлом, undoubtedly, легче представить чем сделать, особенно когда партнер настроен упрямо. Необходимо забыть о прошлом, строить план на будущее, чтобы эффективнее и целесообразнее решить поставленные вопросы.
Следуя советам и тщательно продумав дальнейшее поведение, вы сможете достичь длительных, взаимовыгодных соглашений, преодолеть проблемы и построить планы на будущее, которые поддержать детей и сохранят права каждого из супругов.A source: wday.ru